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fatherdaughterI had one of the longest brunches of my life a couple of Saturday’s ago.

One of my fellow yogi graduates flew in from St. John’s where she’s relocated to after graduating the program. As soon as I found out she would be at brunch I knew I had to go, even though I was 45 minutes late!

We had an amazing brunch, even though there were only four of us attending. It was intimate and easy to connect with these wonderful superstars of light, all of us beaming such wisdom at each other, understanding at such a deep level what each of us was going through, and responding with compassion and full support of our journeys.

I used to roll my eyes when Guru Raj would tell the class we are siblings of destiny, and again when anyone mentioned it because it sounds cheesy. But I really understand it now. It was like no time had passed yet everything had changed. We are so intertwined in each others lives whether we want to be or not. It just happens.

And we are growing closer than we every could have in the course itself. It’s far too busy of a time to form solid friendships most of the time there!

My friend from Newfoundland, T, is a beautiful soul who can light up any room with her Newfie accent, bright smile, and quick laughter. That morning at brunch, we spoke of the one problem that has plagued me for years: financial abundance.

As we spoke it came to surface that probably, if I heal my relationship to my father, I would heal my relationship to money. It’s an aspect that I never really connected before but I’ve been immensely frustrated by the financial aspect of my life.

I’ve read a lot of the financial mindset books, I’ve done online courses, I’ve done meditations (Kundalini and otherwise), I’ve done the affirmations, and so much more. I yell at people when they suggest yet another affirmation or meditation or course. If it were a problem affirmations could fix, trust me, it would’ve been fixed a long time ago.

I sat at the table during brunch weeping. I wiped my eyes with the white cloth napkin and discovered last night’s mascara was still on my face.

“How do you heal your relationship with your dad?” T asked me. “I can just see it! I can just see that you shift this one thing and you will have no lack again! You will be swimming in so much abundance you won’t know what to do with it!

But you gotta do the thing you don’t want to do the most, and walk through that fear. You gotta find what that is, and work through it. I know that you are on the right path and doing your work, you just have to work on this one last piece and it will all click into place for you.”

Weeping, I know its true. I feel I am at the edge of a cliff, and I just have to jump. I’m blind and walking in the dark but I know I’m going somewhere.When I jump off that cliff I’m not going to plummet to the Earth and die. I’m going to spread my wings and fly as if it was the easiest thing to do.

I know the meditations I need to do next to work through this. They scare me. They feel big. They feel like they are life changers. I’m not sure when to begin them because I’m quite enjoying the three I’m doing right now. On the other hand I’ve been struck with insecurities and if I’m ready to for what the meditations are bringing me right now.

However, I have decided when these meditations fall away they will be replaced with these meditations, videos on You Tube by the Catalyst Yogi:

Meditation to Heal Childhood Anger
Meditation to Heal Insecurities

Stay tuned for updates. It will be life shifting. 😉

Research Connecting Father to Money

I related this story to a couple of my personal friends with whom I study business and tantra with and they said it totally makes sense. Because money is a masculine thing, so if my relationship to the masculine is damaged it would affect the flow of money in my life. I never made the connection before!

I read an article I didn’t like the style of at all so its not linked to here, but the author made the relation that healing father issues heal root chakra issues.

Charles Eisenstien Money & the Masculine Essay
Informative article on the Father Daughter Relationship